Down the Rabbit Hole…

So, I’m a Taurus. I’m also an INTJ, according to the Meyers-Briggs test. And if you ask the StrengthsFinder2.0, I shine in Achievment, Strategy, Responsibility, Maximization, and Individualization. My Love Language is Quality Time, by a landslide, but cool it on the Physical Touch, cuz it’s not my thing. And according to my Apology Language, I’ll gladly accept a genuine apology with clear intent to change, but asking for forgiveness will get you exactly nowhere.

Self-awareness is something I’m passionate about. Afterall, if you don’t understand your own motivations and what you’re putting out into the world, how can you hope to understand someone else’s?

But sometimes, I think about how weird it is that I get all up in arms when people try to label me, when I spend so much energy trying to figure out how I label myself. Granted, self-labeling is usually coming from a different place, as far as motivation and intent…but still…weird.

None of those labels above are wrong, by the way. I can’t say they’re 100% right either, but they’re mostly accurate. And then I wonder if they really are, or if everyone finds their own little piece of truth in something like that, because that’s why you’re there, and that’s what you’re looking for…your brain is just filling in the gaps so you can identify with something bigger than you. The brain is funny that way.

I recently listened to an episode of Impact Theory where they were talking about virtual reality programs. They were saying that, basically, your brain is already its own virtual reality environment. The brain doesn’t actually experience heat or cold or light or sound…it takes data from other sources and tries to process it into a coherent, believable picture for us. And it has to tell us some little white lies to fill in the blanks along the way. And the question that was posed was this: if the brain has to tell us all these little lies, just to keep us from bumping into stuff while we’re walking around all day…how many more lies are there? I mean, really….how can you not get sucked down the rabbit hole on that kind of a mind trip?

Truthfully, though, I’ve been having this personal renaissance kind of moment lately anyway. I’m thirsting for knowledge and inspiration. I’m listening to podcasts from neuroscientists and human behavior researchers and entrepreneurs and leadership experts. I’m reading art tutorials and psychology books and went on a full two-season Netflix binge of Sense8…a show predicated on how we connect to those around us. I even got a tarot reading for the first time ever…which was weirdly insightful, and honestly, opened the door on a whole different line of research I want to pursue at some point. I want to learn all the things.

At the same time, I know that highly reflective times of my life are usually indicative of major change on the horizon. It usually takes a while for me to figure out that’s what’s happening. Initially, it’s just pulling at a thread of something I find interesting. And then somewhere down the road, I realize I was actually looking for something specific. Like something I’ve been doing in my life feels off kilter and I need to understand why before I start altering things…or something unexpected feels way more right than I thought it would, and I’m poking at it to make sure it’s not a mirage before I jump in headfirst. I think right now, maybe it’s some of both of those things.

Anyway, it occurs to me that I don’t really know where I’m going with this post, so I should probably wrap it up before I ramble on anymore. I suppose I’ll be seeing where these little revelations are leading me soon enough 🙂

If you’re interested though, some of my current rabbit hole:

Crystal Dilworth and The Science of Limiting Beliefs:

Vanessa Van Edwards and How To Free Yourself From Social Anxiety:

Gary Vaynerchuk and Why Perspective Will Make or Break You:

Simon Sinek and Love Your Work:

The theory behind Sense8:

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